Familiar Topics: Behavior and Poop........

I've mentioned before that Rach is not exactly Bill Gates when it comes to tech savvyness. In fact, she's the anti-Bill Gates. Would Bill Gates repeatedly email you files to 'pdf', even though he has adobe pdf on his computer? Would Bill Gates try to get files off of his dead hard drive by randomly shoving cables into every open slot on his computer? (Seriously, she tried plugging anything that had a cord into her laptop. Even a hairdryer.) Would Bill Gates take video of his husband and son playing on a playground while holding the camera sideways? Ummmm. No. Because I'm pretty sure he doesn't have a husband. And maybe some other reasons. So you'll have to turn your monitors sideways to view these videos. (Just kidding, mom. Please don't call your IT guy, Kenny, to come turn your monitor sideways. Just tilt your head.)

Climbed up the ladder thingie fairly easy

This was WAY more uncomfortable than it looks



BEHAVIOR

So yesterday when I picked up Jaxon from school, I walked in and found Jax playing with a toy cash register. There were three kids crowded around him, lurking like vultures, waiting for him to put the toy down. I'm not exactly Nostradamus, but I could predict that this was not going to end well. And normally I approach picking Jaxon up with the sense of urgency of a bank robber. I try to be as nice as I can to the ladies working in there, but my internal clock is ticking the entire time. I've got to get out of there in less than two minutes. If I'm running low on time, screw it; I'm not going into the vault to get his blanket. So when I walked in there, and saw the palpable tension that the toy cash register was creating, I knew I had to make a quick exit.

2:00 - Notice the toy cash register situation while I'm signing the sign out sheet.

1:46 - Hurry over to Jaxon's cubby to get his things.

1:39 - Get stopped on my way to the cubby by random snot-nosed kids wanting to either high five or hug my leg.

1:17 - Shove other kids out of the way to pick up Ashley and give her hugs and kisses. (At some point, Ashley may have to be a character witness in one of Jax's trials. Have to do whatever it takes to keep her on our side.)

0:53 - Fight back tears of joy when I see that Jaxon got all smiley faces on his report for the first time ever. (Begin celebratory daydream of Jax and I happily running towards each other in slow motion with 'Chariots of Fire' background music......)

0:42 - Snap out of daydream and pick up the rest of Jax's stuff.

0:36 - Teacher tells me that Jax was well-behaved all day. I responded with, "I see that. This is the first day he's gotten all smiley faces." And then she said, "Oh....Really?" But she said it in the same friendly yet sarcastic way that you would respond to a six year old that just told you that the earth was round. "Oh....Really? I never would've guessed that!"

0:21 - "Alright Jax, you ready?" (I can see the vultures getting antsy. They start getting uncomfortably close to him.) "No. I playin with money."

0:13 - "You playin? Okay, but we have to go. Why don't you let one of these vult-- kids play with the cash register?" (Now there's a crazed look in some of the vultures' eyes. Like ravenous hungry birds.) "No. I playin."

0:06 - "Okay, let's go." (I scoop him up out of his seat just as one of the vultures grabs the cash register, and run through the door just in time.)

Phew! That one was close. As soon as I got Jax in the truck, I called Rach to tell her the great news.

Me: It Happened!! It Really Happened!! He got all Happy Faces!!

Rach: Yay! That's Awesome!! Well, I didn't have to work until late today, so I didn't drop him off until about noon.

Me: Oh.....And it says here that he slept from 12:30 until 2:00.

Rach: And it's only 4:00 right now.

Me: Sooooo.....what you're saying is that he was only there for about 2 hours?

Both of us: Ehh, screw it. We'll take it!



POOP

Jaxon's been doing a pretty good job of going to the bathroom by himself lately. Sure, we've had some minor setbacks, but for the most part he can take his pants off, get on the toilet, do his business, get off the toilet, and put his pants back on. Although his underwear goes back on backwards more times than not. The one thing that he does not do, though, is ask for someone to help him wipe his butt. So a few days ago, Keith was checking on him a couple of minutes after we sent him to the bathroom. Keith called me over and said, "Hey, is this normal?" I walk in to find Jaxon standing in the tub, with his butt cheeks pressed against the faucet with the water on. "I clean butt, Daddy. Look, Daddy, I clean butt. I clean butt." No, that's not normal, but very creative. He invented the redneck baby bidet.