A Couple of Quick Stories

Since we've only got two kids right now, I'm only about 40% as interesting as normal. So here's a couple of funny stories that happened yesterday.







I've got to wear three different badges for work. Don't ask me why. But they all three have my picture on them. Yesterday, Jaxon was messing around with them, looked at the first one, and said, 'Daa-yee. Daa-yee. Daa-yee. Daa-yee.' And by the way, he really does repeat himself 4,000 times. He's like freakin Rain Man:







Jax: I runnin, Daa-yee.







Me: Oh, you're running?







Jax: Yes, I runnin. Daa-yee, I runnin.







Me: You running?







Jax: (Looking down, mumbling) Yes, definitely runnin, definitely runnin.







Alright, maybe not that last part, but let's just say that he's a repeater.







Anyway, so he looks at the first badge and says, 'Dah-yee?'







So I say, 'Yeah, that's Daddy.







(Then I show him the second badge) 'And who's this?'







'Jeff'







Then I show him the third one, 'And who's this?'







'Uncle Bee-Yo.' So there you go. B-Lo, he won't be forgetting what you look like anytime soon.

I don't see the resemblance

Then later on, Rach and Jax were playing in the backyard. Jax was swimming in his big mack-daddy inflatable pool while Rach was doing yard work. At one point, she looks over, and there's Jaxon squatting in the grass, bathing suit completely off, smiling, and says, 'I poo in grass, Mommy! I poo in grass!' And sure enough, big ol steaming pile of crap in the yard. Man, that boy knows how to make me proud. It's been years since I've been able to pull off a stunt like that. (That was the funny part, the gross part was when Izzy came behind him and ate it. Which also prompted the phrase, 'Dogs eating poop' to be found in Racheal's Google search history. Seriously, I could write about that search history for days. It's incredible.)

Pre-Fertilizer?

After softball practice last night, Tori and I went to Lowe's, then we went to pick up something to eat from Chik-Fil-A. After we get our food, and we're driving away, Tori says, 'That lady was flirting with you.'







Me: (acting oblivious. And yes, for once I was acting) What? No she wasn't.







Tori: Yes she was. I can tell. All girls flirt with you. Any girl that we see that we don't know always flirts with you.







Me: Well, that's not my fault. But if it gets me an extra order of french fries every now and then......







Tori: That's okay, guys are always flirting with Nanny, too.







Me: What!??? That's just wrong.







And finally, one last thing. I don't think I'm wrong when I say that all old people eventually go crazy, right? Well I've always wondered if it was a gradual change, or a sudden change. I'm sure there's usually an instance when others can point to and say, 'Yep. That's when such and such went crazy.' Well my parents are pretty young. But my brother and I have already decided that they'll probably come live with me and Rach when they get old and senile. Maybe that'll be 30 years from now, maybe it'll be 30 days from now. Who knows? But I do know this: When they get old and crazy, I'll be able to look back on this moment, and know for a fact that this was what started their fade into insanity.

Yep. That's my parents; posing with their grandson; and their dog; wearing a slightly small cowboy hat. Enough said.