About two and a half years ago, Rach started dragging me to church. And when I say dragging, I mean dragging. Most of the time, I would stop short of kicking the dirt; whining and crying and throwing a tantrum like a 2 year old who just got told he can't ride the merry-go-round outside of Wal-Mart because he's too young to understand that you don't touch anything at Wal-Mart that you don't have to. MOST of the time I wouldn't react like that, but I would try to sabotage the church outing. It was easy at first. I just wouldn't wake Rach up. I would 'accidentally' sleep past my alarm (even though I wake up at 4:45 every morning with or without an alarm). But Rach wouldn't buy it. She'd get mad at me. And if there's one thing in life that I try to avoid, it's Rach getting mad at me (if there's two things, it's Rach getting mad at me.......and cockroaches), which made my life miserable. So then I started to wake her up, but I would use her sleepiness against her. In my quietest, sweetest voice imaginable, I'd whisper, "Rach, Rach, It's 7:30. Do you want to wake up? Or keep sleeping?" And she'd let out a bear-like grunt. Then I'd say, "Grunt one more time if you want to keep sleeping." She'd let out another grunt, and I'd go to the gym. But she would still get mad at me. And my life would still be miserable.
So then I figured, Eh, it's probably just a phase. Rach goes through crazy phases like this all the time. For instance, lately she's been convinced that the entire world economic system is going down in flames. And she's probably right about that. But the crazy part is that she wants to convert our garage into a chicken coup, and hide goats in our backyard so that way we can have eggs and milk after the apocalypse. For mine and my neighbors' sake, I'm hoping this is just a phase. Because I can foresee myself three years from now, sitting in my backyard, trying to milk my goat, wondering where my life went wrong, and then my neighbor comes over to tell me to stop letting my chickens crap in his yard.
So anyway, we went to a couple of different churches, but just couldn't find one that we liked.....or that could keep me awake. After about 5 different snore-fest churches, we found one that was more my speed. The first thing I noticed when I walked through the front door was a full service coffee shop style cafe with homemade muffins. HOMEMADE MUFFINS! And it must've been around Thanksgiving time, because there was a sign on the wall advertising for the new Pumpkin Spice Smoothie. So at first, I didn't look at it so much as 'going to church' as I did 'eating a banana nut muffin and drinking a pumpkin spice smoothie'. So every Sunday, I'd get my muffin and my smoothie, and we'd go up to the balcony to watch the service. And apart from the deliciousness of this church, the production value was astounding. Week after week, the pastor would make me laugh, there would be something like a 70 person musical act, some kind of dramatic performance, and a message at the end that tied it all together.
And more and more I started to relate to the message; the relationship building, the marriage tips, the importance of family, the roles of parenting, the community involvement. It turned into a weekly life-coaching session. A sort of guide to help me be a role model to my kids. I've never been a religious person. I didn't grow up in the church. And I've read all the stories about corrupt churches and morally questionable church leaders. I'vve had a hard time fully immersing myself into the idea that Jesus was anything but just a great man. But this church; this church was helping me become a better person. And for a long time, I was able to separate the 'good deeds' message from the Jesus message. I didn't have to believe EVERYTHING, did I?
And I went on feeling this way up until about 2 weeks ago, when Rach was in Israel. (Read more about that here) During the Sunday service while she was gone, they showed a video message from Israel of our head pastor. As I was watching, I kept hoping they'd pan out and show Rach, just so I could see her, but they didn't. But I remember thinking that seeing that video, and being in the church made me feel a lot closer to her. She had dragged me to that church for so long, that it felt like she was there with me. The service ended, and we left, and I didn't really think about it much after that. But the following Wednesday, I got a strange call from one of the pastors at the church, Luke. It was weird, I had never spoken to him directly, but I immediately recognized his voice over the phone from all of the speeches that he's given over the past few years. He proceeded to tell me that they were putting together the Easter production, and one of the other pastors said that I would be a perfect fit for one of the parts. He said,
"Hey, uh, I was talking with Dave, and we feel, with your physique, and your look, that you would would make a great, umm, Satan."
I quickly responded with, "So Dave thinks I look like Satan, huh?" But only kidding.
Anyway, we talked for a minute about the role, and what it involved, and we decided to meet up at the church later that night to meet with he and his wife, Megan. And I immediately began to think of that past Sunday, and how I felt being at the church. This couldn't be an accident, could it? Then I started thinking of ways that this could all be part of one of Rach's mastermind schemes, and that she was just tugging on her puppet strings from halfway around the earth. But either way, what are the chances that they call me NOW, when I seemingly needed it the most?
And so I start thinking to myself: there has got to be a reason for this. Just like there's a reason for everything else that has happened in my life up to this point. There's a reason that I'm not dead or in jail for some of the stuff that I used to do. There's a reason that Rach decided to take a chance on a smart, lazy guy with no car or no job that lived with his parents (well, maybe there's not a reason for that. That still seems like a bad decision to me). But there is a reason that we've been blessed with so much. I refuse to believe that I'm just really lucky.
And so I get to the church that night, and everyone I meet seems unbelievably welcoming, and warm, and positive. And I felt that same feeling wash over me that I had felt on Sunday. That feeling of comfort, and of closeness. That comfort level allowed me to talk to Megan and Luke as if I had known them for years, even though we had just met. I told them about our family, and about my struggles with my faith, and how I was just starting to 'get it'. Even though I don't fully know what 'it' is.
So then I figured, Eh, it's probably just a phase. Rach goes through crazy phases like this all the time. For instance, lately she's been convinced that the entire world economic system is going down in flames. And she's probably right about that. But the crazy part is that she wants to convert our garage into a chicken coup, and hide goats in our backyard so that way we can have eggs and milk after the apocalypse. For mine and my neighbors' sake, I'm hoping this is just a phase. Because I can foresee myself three years from now, sitting in my backyard, trying to milk my goat, wondering where my life went wrong, and then my neighbor comes over to tell me to stop letting my chickens crap in his yard.
So anyway, we went to a couple of different churches, but just couldn't find one that we liked.....or that could keep me awake. After about 5 different snore-fest churches, we found one that was more my speed. The first thing I noticed when I walked through the front door was a full service coffee shop style cafe with homemade muffins. HOMEMADE MUFFINS! And it must've been around Thanksgiving time, because there was a sign on the wall advertising for the new Pumpkin Spice Smoothie. So at first, I didn't look at it so much as 'going to church' as I did 'eating a banana nut muffin and drinking a pumpkin spice smoothie'. So every Sunday, I'd get my muffin and my smoothie, and we'd go up to the balcony to watch the service. And apart from the deliciousness of this church, the production value was astounding. Week after week, the pastor would make me laugh, there would be something like a 70 person musical act, some kind of dramatic performance, and a message at the end that tied it all together.
And more and more I started to relate to the message; the relationship building, the marriage tips, the importance of family, the roles of parenting, the community involvement. It turned into a weekly life-coaching session. A sort of guide to help me be a role model to my kids. I've never been a religious person. I didn't grow up in the church. And I've read all the stories about corrupt churches and morally questionable church leaders. I'vve had a hard time fully immersing myself into the idea that Jesus was anything but just a great man. But this church; this church was helping me become a better person. And for a long time, I was able to separate the 'good deeds' message from the Jesus message. I didn't have to believe EVERYTHING, did I?
And I went on feeling this way up until about 2 weeks ago, when Rach was in Israel. (Read more about that here) During the Sunday service while she was gone, they showed a video message from Israel of our head pastor. As I was watching, I kept hoping they'd pan out and show Rach, just so I could see her, but they didn't. But I remember thinking that seeing that video, and being in the church made me feel a lot closer to her. She had dragged me to that church for so long, that it felt like she was there with me. The service ended, and we left, and I didn't really think about it much after that. But the following Wednesday, I got a strange call from one of the pastors at the church, Luke. It was weird, I had never spoken to him directly, but I immediately recognized his voice over the phone from all of the speeches that he's given over the past few years. He proceeded to tell me that they were putting together the Easter production, and one of the other pastors said that I would be a perfect fit for one of the parts. He said,
"Hey, uh, I was talking with Dave, and we feel, with your physique, and your look, that you would would make a great, umm, Satan."
I quickly responded with, "So Dave thinks I look like Satan, huh?" But only kidding.
Anyway, we talked for a minute about the role, and what it involved, and we decided to meet up at the church later that night to meet with he and his wife, Megan. And I immediately began to think of that past Sunday, and how I felt being at the church. This couldn't be an accident, could it? Then I started thinking of ways that this could all be part of one of Rach's mastermind schemes, and that she was just tugging on her puppet strings from halfway around the earth. But either way, what are the chances that they call me NOW, when I seemingly needed it the most?
And so I start thinking to myself: there has got to be a reason for this. Just like there's a reason for everything else that has happened in my life up to this point. There's a reason that I'm not dead or in jail for some of the stuff that I used to do. There's a reason that Rach decided to take a chance on a smart, lazy guy with no car or no job that lived with his parents (well, maybe there's not a reason for that. That still seems like a bad decision to me). But there is a reason that we've been blessed with so much. I refuse to believe that I'm just really lucky.
And so I get to the church that night, and everyone I meet seems unbelievably welcoming, and warm, and positive. And I felt that same feeling wash over me that I had felt on Sunday. That feeling of comfort, and of closeness. That comfort level allowed me to talk to Megan and Luke as if I had known them for years, even though we had just met. I told them about our family, and about my struggles with my faith, and how I was just starting to 'get it'. Even though I don't fully know what 'it' is.
After the meeting, we decided that I'd go ahead and try to be Satan, but if I didn't feel comfortable, or if they thought I was terrible, that I didn't have to do it, no hard feelings. A few days later, at the first rehearsal, I was amazed at all of the gifted young people that they have at this church. Singers, dancers, musicians; you name it, they got it. It was unbelievable. I figured that even if I was terrible, they had enough talented people in the building that no one would even notice. And it was interesting to peel back the onion a little bit and witness the kind of effort that went into all of those productions that I had been watching over the last few years.
And after the first practice, Luke pulled me aside to talk. He wanted to make sure that I was comfortable being Satan (or acting like Satan, I'm not actually BEING Satan). We talked about the meaning of the play, and the message. And then he asked me, "How long have you been a Christian?" And I really didn't know how to answer. I hadn't really been a Christian. Sure I had been baptized, and I received my first communion, but I had never made a conscious decision as an adult to put God first. But I do know this, for the past six or so years, I've made a concerted effort to be a great father, and a great husband. To put Racheal first. To put my kids first. To put my family first. I've wanted to be the perfect husband. I've wanted to be the perfect dad. But I'm not. I am a failure. I've been trying my absolute best for 6 years, and I've failed. I am not perfect. I make mistakes. I make mistakes all the time. Just ask Rach, she'll tell you. She may even have them alphabetized. But God doesn't care about my mistakes. He just wants me to keep trying. He's got my back, whether I'm aware of it or not. No matter how far away from Him I've gotten, He's been there for me. And that's when I decided, that I would like to thank Him for that. I'd like to honor him for watching out for me.
And so I looked at Luke and said, "I don't know. I don't think I have been a Christian. I think I'm ready to, but I'm not really even sure how I would go about doing it." And he said very matter of fact, "Well are you ready now?"
And without any fanfare, or any ceremony, or any fireworks, Luke put his hand on my shoulder, and he prayed for me. And just like that, I gave my life to God. I accepted Jesus Christ into my heart. I am a Christian. If you knew me ten years ago, you probably won't believe it. But it's true. Rach's 3 year plan has finally come to fruition. (She's like a long-haired Yoda).
And as my first act to honor Jesus, I'm going to be Satan. And I'm excited about it. This production is going to be amazing. I think everyone should come check it out. If you want to see a great Easter service, or if you want to see a great show, or if you just want to come see me dressed as Satan, or if you like Pumpkin Spiced Smoothies, or if you know my wife and you don't want her to be mad at you, I think you should come.
We're doing 4 shows this weekend at Cathedral of Praise on Ashley Phosphate. You can get more info here. I hope to see you there.
