The King-Sized Trip to Disney.........

Editor's Note: I apologize for taking so long to get this post done. I've been a little busy, and most of my free time is spent making myself nervous about the Saints. Bear with me....

We have returned from what I would deem a largely successful trip to Disney. I say largely successful because anytime you can survive 7 days in Disney World with 5 kids without anyone getting lost or stolen or kicked out or bankrupt, I'd consider it a success. We went to Epcot twice, Magic Kingdom twice, Animal Kingdom twice, and Hollywood Studios once. We went to Never Never land, the Caribbean, Africa, the past, Mars, Asia, the future, and Nebulos 9. We did just about as much as you could possible squeeze into 7 days. And quite honestly, all of the days are kind of jumbled together into my brain, so I'm just going to give you some random thoughts and some random pictures from the adventure.


Theme Park of the Future

When we first got to Epcot (which bills itself as being on the cusp of innovation, and being the Theme Park of the Future, but it didn't seem like a whole lot had changed since the last time I was there 12 years ago. I guess it's kind of like Dippin Dots being the 'Ice Cream of the Future' for the past twenty years. When does that become the 'Overstatement of the Present'?), we walked past a row of about four pay phones. Scarlett looked over and got ridiculously excited, "Mommy! Look! Phones! We could use them to call Mimi!" She had never seen or heard of a pay phone. The concept was as foreign to her as Morse Code. So, inadvertently, the 'Theme Park of the Future' taught my daughter a history lesson. But here is the clan at Epcot:


Poor Line Etiquette

This was really an overarching theme of the whole trip. My children's poor line etiquette. Something about putting these kids in a line turned them into retarded monkeys. I've never seen anything like it. And since we were in Disney during the coldest and rainiest week in the history of Florida, we didn't have to stand in line that much. I don't think we stood in any line for more than 20 minutes, but that was WAY more than enough time for them to repeatedly perform the following 'standing-in-line infractions':

• Ridiculously bumping into strangers - It was like being a designated driver for your 5 completely hammered friends. And you find yourself apologizing for them bumping into everyone, and then finally you just want to go home. (Note to all of my friends back home: I know that I've never experienced this phenomenon from the DD's perspective. But I was just trying to make a point.)
  

• Inadvertently cutting the families in front of us - It's one of the core fundamentals of standing in a line, yet none of my kids were ever fully able to grasp the concept. Apparently, in my kids' minds, if there's enough space for you to go over, under, or around the person standing in front of you, then they're not REALLY standing in line.

• Dramatically overreacting to a bad smell - "EEEEEEEEWWWWWWWW!!!!!! GAVIN FARTED!! OH MY GOSH!!!!! IT STINKS!!!!!!" "NO I DIDN'T, IT WAS SCARLETT!!!!!" "NAH-AHH!!!! IT WAS COLE!!!!!!" "NO IT WASN'T!!!! I DIDN'T FART!!!! IT WASN'T ME!!!! I THINK IT WAS THE GUY IN FRONT OF US WHO HAS BEEN LISTENING TO THIS RIDICULOUS TIRADE THE WHOLE TIME!!!!!! (Alright, maybe not the last part, but you get the idea.)
  

• Climbing on anything and everything - This was mostly just Cole, but Gavin and Scarlett chipped in too. I felt like getting one of those hilarious toddler leashes to put on Cole. How funny would that have been to see a 9 year old wearing one of these. But seriously, I needed it. "Cole, get of the railing." "Cole, get off that wall." "Cole, stop jumping off of benches." "Cole, Don't stand on that." "Cole, stop skipping backwards. You're running into people." "Cole, don't hang on that." "Cole, stop trying to climb that 20 foot statue of Mickey!" These are all sentences actually left my mouth. Finally, I told him that instead of telling him to stop climbing on stuff, I was just going to pop him in the back of the head. Which I did. Which caused some old man to give me a dirty look. Which caused me to give him an even dirtier look, one that could only be caused by bringing 5 children to the happiest place on earth.

I tried to squeeze the bars together.
Believe me, I tried.

Fighting Over Trash

When you throw Scarlett into the mix, the kids fight about absolutely everything. I mean everything. There was a game in Epcot that was supposed to teach you how to be more 'green', and conserve waste, and recycle, and yada-yada. Let's just call it 'The Al Gore Experience'. Anyway, they gave you a trash-filled recycle bin to push around to all these different stations that taught you ways to help out the environment. Well, we spent about a half hour extra in 'The Al Gore Experience' because of non-stop, incessant fighting. "I want to push the cart!" "You got to push it last time!" "Daddy, Cole won't let me recycle that old newspaper!" They were literally fighting over trash. It was insane and annoying, yet strangely comical. I'm not saying it's all Scarlett's fault, but she's definitely the catalyst. She's like the equivalent of putting hot sauce in a fruit salad. On our second day in Magic Kingdom, I took Tori, Gavin, and Cole with me to ride roller coasters while Rach took Scarlett and Jax to see princesses, and we had zero arguments. I'm just sayin.....

They're laughing because Scarlett just ratted
Cole out for not brushing his teeth two years ago.

Random Thoughts and Pictures

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This picture was taken right after Gavin burped in Donald's face. Donald didn't stay at our table long.

"The jokes on you, kid. I slobbered all over
your food using my Donald Duck voice!"

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Here's a picture of my Mom, Dad, and Jaxon on the Buzz Lightyear ride. And for the record, I made approximately 3,437 "Where's Dad?" jokes about his camouflage jacket. So many jokes, actually, that he only wore it for the one day. It was well worth it. He's never liked me very much anyway.

Jax, you're never gonna shoot any ducks in that jacket.
And why are we sitting in fluorescent green duck blinds?

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Jax had so much fun with his MiMi.....
Well, except when she forced his sleeping body
to pose for pictures with characters

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This picture will end up being the reason that I, and not Rach, will end up teaching Scarlett how to drive in 10 years. Seriously, she made Stevie Wonder look like Jeff Gordon. (I apologize if there are more modern examples, but I don't follow blind people or NASCAR).

"Alright Scarlett, Step One: Open your eyes."

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It's okay, Rach.
He's not going to ACTUALLY use those ears to fly.

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"No, Jaxon! That is inappropriate!
INAPPROPRIATE!!

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"OMG! This is SO embarrassing!
His Jiminy Cricket costume
is WAY better than mine!"

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