He's a poet, and he didn't even know this....or it. I meant it.......

I know that I've mentioned that we have a cat, but I'm not quite sure if I've accurately or adequately described this cat before. Her name is Dido, and she's the most annoying cat on the planet. If I thought that there were cats on other planets, then I'd say she is the most annoying cat in the universe. Her annoyance can be explained, threefold (I'm not sure if that's how you use that word, but I've always wanted to say, 'Threefold'):

• When new people come to the house and try to pet her, we have to stop them as if they were about to explode. You know, like the 6:20 mark of this clip. It's always, "No!! Don't pet her!! She's angry!! She hates everyone!! She will literally scratch your eyeballs off!!"
  

• She has the loudest, and most ear piercing meow that I've ever heard. It doesn't even sound like a cat. It actually sounds like Fran Drescher, from 'The Nanny', doing an impression of a cat. It sounds like a long, drawn out question from a slow-talker, "Meeeeeeeeeeoooooooooooooowwwwwwww??" And to make matters worse, she never shuts up. She meows when she's hungry, meows when she's thirsty, meows when she just finished eating, meows when she's happy, meows when she's in your room at 3:00 am and wants to get out the door, meows when she's outside your room at 3:01 am and wants to get back in the door. Uggh. And as of last night, do you know what Racheal did to the loudest cat on the planet? Can you guess? Yep, she put a bell around her neck. Really, Rach? A bell? Are you kidding me? Why don't you just get her an air horn?
  

• She's rude. She's just rude. I get woken (awoken? woke up? woked? awoked? wakened? awakened?) up all the time in the middle of the night by the stupid cat walking on my pillow. It seriously freaks me out. (Rach doesn't believe me that she does this, but then again, I could walk on Rach's pillow while she's sleeping and she wouldn't notice.) And if you sit on the couch - it doesn't matter what you're doing; sleeping, eating, typing, watching TV - she climbs up on top of you, head butts you in the chin, then turns around and sticks her brown eye in your face. Every. Single. Time. Sometimes she'll get right up, turn around, and do it again, just for emphasis.
  

So, to recap, the cat is REALLY annoying. I mean, I've had dancing Santa Clause's that weren't this annoying. Carrot Top would say that Dido is annoying. If Rach wanted to trade Dido for a parrot who only knew how to sing The Macarena, I'd consider it. But no matter how much I go on and on about Dido; no matter how many words I type; no matter how much I describe her, I could never EVER sum up the cat's existence as well as Cole did in his poem for school.

I give you......Cole's masterpiece:

Not that I've ever been a huge poetry connoisseur or anything,
but this is, by far, my favorite poem ever

I'm serious, he completely summed up this cats' role in our lives in a matter of 13 words. It's incredible. Audrey Wurdemann was the youngest person to ever win the Pulitzer Prize for Poetry, and she was 24. Cole still has 15 years to beat that! At this point I want him to write poems about all of us. How would he describe his sister in 13 words? Maybe a Haiku about the dog? Some iambic pentameter about dinner time? I don't know. And not just poems about us, I want to see his take on everything. How would he describe, say, a sunset? or a rainbow? or posi-track rear end of a plymouth? The possibilities are endless.